I wanna move forward. I tried so hard to do better, get better. I’ve suffered so much difficulty hiding this part of me. The part of me that’s impossible to be loved. The part of me that pushed people away. The part of me, that’s consuming what’s left of me. I’m trying SO hard to hide it deep down, I kept it voiceless, and crippled - powerless to control me. 

And today, my hands were trembling, my thoughts are too loud, my eyes are burning, my heart is cold and aching. It’s freaking me out, afraid to meet someone else’s eyes, and see me. I don’t wanna be noticed nor seen like this. 

Please, I can’t afford to lose people anymore. I won’t survive it this time.